Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
