i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
