we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
