she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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