All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
