I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
