Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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