i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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