just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Randomize