I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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