hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dear god my vagina.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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