my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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