You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
