McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
