Got a toothbrush?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
True strength comes from lack of pants
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
