I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I skipped work to stalk him.
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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