How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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