Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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