Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My bed smells like the plague
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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