my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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