their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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