I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
