so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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