I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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