Kiss
Puke
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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