chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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