ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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