I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
