alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
