Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
