I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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