I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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