People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
