Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
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