I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I supernannyed him into submission
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
