jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
