It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
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does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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