He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
its liver damage thursday
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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