forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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