Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
