he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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