So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
