You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I met the friendliest cop last night
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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