How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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