Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
