im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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