new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
