What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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