Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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