imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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