I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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