Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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