He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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