yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
