Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
